Why Do We Choose To Live In Deficit?
Most of us associate a joyous and fulfilled life with aquisition: more money, new car, big house, more likes, more followers, more attractive partner.... constantly searching for The Number. What is the magical number we need to reach to finally be Happy?
Why do we burn our life (it is finite) looking for better easier faster ways to accumulate?
The story (history) of searching
Truth: Humans are born curious, innocent and without judgement. We explore, we experience, we learn, we search.
Story: Parents want the best for their children. Parents, teachers, employers, coaches, and all influencers incentivize and render judgement as feedback. Here is where good intentions can go askew. This is bad - This is good and This is right - This is wrong. We label everything to be able to communicate and make sense of the world. Unfortunately as we assign good/bad and right/wrong our life stories begin to be viewed through lenses of absolute. How can right and good become wrong and bad? Values and perception slowly become ingrained in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. What happens when we collide with a different perception? How can we listen to others if we know them to be wrong? Let the slide to unresolved conflict begin.
Once engrained with the judgements of right v. wrong; the hope for community is diminished. Community is the act of individuals coming together as one to make agreements for the group. Community respects others’ beliefs but does not have to share every belief and thus allows for communication. Comunication is listening to others’ beliefs and caring about what it is they believe in order to better understand and therefore come to an agreement. When right meets wrong; agreement becomes much more of a challenge.
What if This is right - This is wrong gets replaced with This works - This does not work? If what works best is the common theme then possibilities are endless and creativity is unencumbered. Communities are strengthened.
At some point our story can become one of success and this can become our perceived identity. If I decide that a person with good grades, good money, a good job, good friends, is a success then I identify that person as a successful person: Cool. Happiness should be here any second... I’m still waiting... Hmm next step as a searching human being: reevaluate. I need to analyze which of my “successes is not enough” and get more or better then I will be happy (don’t even think about if I could find all that outside of me how would I keep it from slipping out of my grasp). Here’s the trap: I was told that if I was “successful” I would be happy. Welcome to false assumption #1 that accumulation = happiness/ fulfillment.
Add False Assumption #2: NOT ONLY THAT BUT if I am not “successful” there must be something wrong with me AND I must be unworthy. Does that work for you?
NOW THE GOOD NEWS!
These are just stories based on a series of judgements you were exposed to. Period. If you are tired of living in the past (which has not served you well) and ready to embrace the present then you have already begun creating a new future. Ask yourself what is it you would like to be remembered for? Now take one small action that represents that thought.